Doc Appt 11/6

Dropped my pee off (I'm sure I looked ridiculous carrying a starbucks in my left hand and a jug of pee in my right), had my NST. The stupid monitor wouldn't continually pick up her heart rate so after 1.5 hrs of trying they sent me to L&D to monitor me there (I was supposed to have my reg OB appt after the NST but they decided to have me skip it). So I went to L&D, where their monitors picked it up just fine. They checked my cervix...still just 2 cm dilated.

My bps were good, but my protein from the pee test I dropped off a few hrs earlier had gone back up (it was 380 last Monday when they wanted to induce me, dropped to 178 that Thursday when they said I'm "not sick anymore", and today it was 301). Apparently 300 is where they start to consider inducing. So they said they want to see me twice a week now and I have to go back Monday for an NST and to "discuss" inducing. I got the feeling that they don't want to let me go to 39/40 weeks like they said a couple weeks ago. I'm getting good at reading what they're not saying.

I get that feeling because they didn't tell me to do another 24 hr urine...and they've been having me do one practically every few days over the last 2 weeks. So I don't think they're just letting it go. I just keep reminding myself that my body is much more prepared for an induction this time, and that it won't be as horrible and we won't have a tiny baby that's immediately taken away from me. It's gonna be different. It's really mentally exhausting. It makes it easier to remember it's a disease, so I don't feel like such a failure. I'm anxious to get this over with!

Jeffrey's Goofy Grins 11/5

I love his silly little face :)